Medical news!

There is a common medical procedure that gentlemen of a certain age need to have done. I shan't go into details, but let's just say if it was Irish, it'd be named "Colin O'Scopy". I happen to be of that certain age, so I got a referral from my physician. Calling the proctologist's office to make an appointment, I was asked "Do you prefer our Downtown Sacramento office or our Roseville office for the procedure?", to which I replied "I thought I was just going to be abducted by a UFO" *cue sound of crickets on the other end of the line*
People who work in proctologist's offices have NO sense of humor.